Warpath TV» Out of Commission

Out of Commission 061 – Afro Nazi

peat — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 03:26:03 +0000

ATTENNNNNNTION! It’s time to fall in line. In this completely regimented, erect and penetrative episode we dive into the world of the SILVER SCREEN! Black Swan, Suck, I’m Still Here and Monsters are all up to the chopping board. Joseph-Joey-Dwayne-the-Rock-Johnson-Lawrence finally comes back to the screen in a RC COLA action movie, Havanna Nights! Wolverine 2 gets a greenlight??? Ah crap in my Limbic system!! We also Reebok Pump up our confidence with pictures of rubenesque ladies that one of the Out of Commission hosts may or may not have had facial relations with. George Force plays a DETRIMENTAL role in his little radio show, Epileptic Peat wipes the Krispy Kreme shrapnel off his face and Kaptain Carbon dances to his Urban Fuhrer. BIIIIIG MUSCLES!!! HAAAAAARD MUSCLES!!

Music Courtesy of:
Epileptic Peat

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Out of Commission 060 – Karate Tits

peat — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 23:35:36 +0000

Out of Commission – Episode 060

What’s up old people??? We are going geratric on your stupid prosthetic hips in this wrinkly and stinky bedpan themed episode. The Shamwow Guy’s new rehash of an old “comedy” “movie”, Underground Comedy 2010, Two Guys, A Girl and a Pizza Place, the very pretentious Freakanomics and Piranha 3D. That fatty Kevin Smith finally gives us our money’s worth with the synopsis of Red State. There are Tae Kwon Do Breasts, Battleship, car crashes and a rotund female with her appendage inside a pachyderms rectum while eating Cheetos. We are in our prime and getting senile UP IN HERE, UP IN HERE! George Force fails to become a hero, Epileptic Peat gets Indian burn on his tepee and Kaptain Carbon gets to meet his next door neighbor, Brian Reynolds. It’s time to change my diaper.

Music Courtesy of:
Epileptic Peat

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Out of Commission 059 – Just the Tip

peat — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 04:49:55 +0000

Out of Commission – Episode 059

Now just lay back and let me do all the work. In this legally shady forcibly sexy episode of OOC we delve into the darker side of life of movies. It’s rapetastic this week as the Monkey-less and Monica-less FRIEND brings you his rapey flick Trust as well as the new trailer for the I Spit on you Grave remake makes us fear for our weiner’s lives. Denzil Washington gives us another tired mediocre performance in Train Day…er I mean Unstoppable. Little Fockers is in trouble and Dustin Hoffman isn’t budging until he gets his 3d TV. The Avengers teaser is barely a drunken handjob and its a sad world when Jackass 3D is the most exciting thing going on. Kaptain Carbon voices his love of Juggalos, Epileptic Peat gets worldly with Nat Geo and George Force gets scolded by Grammy. Donkey Kong Jr. aint got NOTHIN ON ME!!!

Music Courtesy of:
Epileptic Peat

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Out of Commission 058 – Sinbad to the Bone

peat — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 06:08:18 +0000

Out of Commission – Episode 058

Yay! It’s the Chinese New Year! In this festive episode of OOC3D, we light conversational paper lanterns and drift them at sea with tales of Sinbad to the 5th Power, Sucker Punch, Yogi Bear Vs. Joey Buttafuco and Twelve. We cast normal boring news aside and talk about what’s really important…. The Sex Files 2. Finally, a movie that compliments my masturbatory fantasies of Gillian Anderson and with more cohesion than the actual X Files sequel. It is the year of the Out of Commission 3D. Drape your apartment in Out of Commission 3D and you will have more energy for pancakes. George Force gases up his T-Shirt cannon and aims for autistic children, Kaptain Carbon has marbles in his mouth and Epileptic Peat gets SPONTANEOUS and wants to WASH UP!!! She’s mighty mighty!

Music Courtesy of:
Epileptic Peat

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Out of Commission 057 – Bath-Sitters Inc.

peat — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 05:54:45 +0000

Out of Commission – Episode 057

The Riddler? Batman 3 news? A demented Superman? The Fleshlight? A lonesome bubble bath? In this Comic Con inspired episode we put on our superhuman peg legs and roundhouse kick conversation about the newest films. Drive Angry, Stone, Faster and a new Eddie Murphyless Haunted Mansion? The last Saw movie? A Danny Trejoless Predators 2? Brad Pitt in World War Z? For real, for realzzzzz??? And who doesn’t know the art of Fellatio at 19? George Force’s internet prowess finally pays off, Epileptic Peat’s appendage weeps in a porcelain prison and Kaptain Carbon finally gets it right. He made me do it…. he made me bonk her!

Music Courtesy of:
Epileptic Peat

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Out of Commission 056 – Fisted Sister

peat — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 01:05:10 +0000

Out of Commission – Episode 056

HOT DAMN! JERRY….. HELLLO!! In this Shock and Terror infested episode, we play a round of horse and “bounce” ideas off each other and the backboard of our lives about the newest moving picture news. We discuss the new M. Night Shamalamadingdong Failjob Devil as well as the unofficial sequel to Good Will Hunting, The Town. Also you kids can put back ON those Nic Cage masks because that guy from the movie about the prison in San Francisco has signed on to Ghost Rider 2. Not to feel left out, Salt, David Lynch and Haley Joe Osmont all get it on the chin… EWWW!! Before I forget we brainstorm our thoughts on Inception as well as how many years are in a generation. Epileptic Peat seduces a young Scarface, Kaptain Carbon buys your mom breast implants and George Force is riding around in his automobile. Remember kids… It’s not your fault… It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.

Music Courtesy of:
Epileptic Peat

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Out of Commission 055 – The To-Do List…

peat — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 00:05:36 +0000

Out of Commission – Episode 055

Pencils down, mouths open. Here at Out of Commission, we strive for excellence. In order to bring you this next completely organized and neat episode, we ask you to consider the power of lists. For instance… here is a list of the awful movies we discussed:

-Vampires Suck
-The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
-X-Men: First Class
-Chain Letter
-S. Darko

We also take time to wish a happy birthday to Mel Gibson… at least I think that is what we are discussing. And that’s not all. We also discover through simple bookkeeping that Epileptic Peat is SINFUL, Kaptain Carbon is a hatemonger and George Force is waaaaaaay behind on his life goals. Buckle up kids… you might want to take notes.

Also… Kevin Bacon DONG.

Music Courtesy of:
Epileptic Peat

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Out of Commission 054 – Anal Destination

peat — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 05:25:00 +0000

Out of Commission – Episode 054

You’re LATE!! How do you expect us to make any money with you being such a leechdick! In this No-Nonsense episode, we look at pie charts, stats, graphs and pieces of toast to unearth the true hidden meanings behind the film industries latest spit-up. Wall Street 2, Are You Afraid of the Dark, Top Gun 7, Mad Max and Sugar Tits Rides Again and 5Nal Destination?? Yeah, sit down, the numbers aren’t adding up on this end either. Epileptic Peat professes his desire to be smothered with love by a six grader, George Force works his way up to middle management cockburger status and Kaptain Carbon/Chunk/Stinkybutt wants to talk about She’s Out of My League to someone who gives a flying poop. Is that the Doug theme?

Music Courtesy of:
This Place is Haunted

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Out of Commission: 053 – Are You Down with the P.O.V.?

Epileptic Peat — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 15:07:31 +0000

Out of Commission – Episode 053
Oh, hi Podcast. In this ‘tearing you apart’ kind of episode, we talk turkey about the newest film abominations. These include but are not limited to Rock Em, Sock Em Robots, Little Fockers, Dinocroc Vs Supergator and an Oasis Biopic? Yeah, I know… CRIKEY! Gerald Buttface and Ray Charles inexplicably fails us in Law Abiding Citizen and somehow Knight and Day DOESN’T deliver. Who knew? We also read some mail from our new Secret Admirers and put on our goggles to prepare for our love-juice. Kaptain Carbon wants the bow-legged one, Epileptic Peat visits a psychic and George Force is dressed up like he’s asking for it. SPOONS!!

Music Courtesy of:
This Place is Haunted

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Out of Commission: 052 – Business Shower

Epileptic Peat — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 14:31:57 +0000

Out of Commission – Episode 052
Well wing-ding-doodly-ding-dang-dooo, we are back! In this Shower-Powered episode, we take a conversational constitutional to the land of the moving pictures. What? The X-Men prequel is moving forward and the Hobbit is still a fan boys wet dream? Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitters Dead needs a remake? You CRAZY esse! Don’t sweat it, we are on it like Jane Fonda. Kaptain Carbon gets an umbrella for Joss Whedon, Epileptic Peat gets 1985 with a new filing cabinet for sex toys and George Force begin_of_the_skype_highlighting end_of_the_skype_highlighting does the impotent robot in a COED NAKED shower with a busty girl. Big McLargeHuge… out.

NOTE:
If you want to come see the cult hit “The Room” with Epileptic Peat from Out of Commission on Friday, June 25th at Midnight in NYC, here are the details… I expect flowers and chocolate. Click below for location. Email SweeptheLeg@Warpath.tv so I know to wear something pretty.
DETAILS

Music Courtesy of:
Epileptic Peat

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Out of Commission: 051 – Don’t Leave, I’m So Lonely.

Epileptic Peat — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 06:25:12 +0000

Out of Commission – Episode 051
Awwww, you came back. You dooooo love us. You really love us in a purely casual kind of way. In this ostentatious, Celtic Pride episode we delve deep into the vaginal caverns of the new movies Gun starring some rapper and fat Val Kilmer and Takers starring another few rappers and that guy from Joy Ride. We also get a harsh case of emitophilia and puke up the latest sequel/remake/reboot/recycle news with Die Hard 24/7, Toy Story 3, Van Helsing, The Hobbit, Mortal EFFING Kombat, Oz and Jurassic Park 4…. Phew! I’m drained and still need my stomach pumped. Epileptic Peat tells a recent story about being hit on by Larry Bird, Kaptain Carbon takes himself off the market and George Force begin_of_the_skype_highlighting end_of_the_skype_highlighting finally gets to use the muted trumpet sound effect. Alright team… GO BOTTLE THAT WATER!!

Music Courtesy of:
This Place is Haunted

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Out of Commission: 050 – Nifty Fifty

Epileptic Peat — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 14:16:45 +0000

Out of Commission – Episode 050
Well here it is Mr. Sappy. Episode Cinco de Fifty. We welcome our 2 friends Ben Heckendorn and Jason Jones to help us crap ourselves by turning 50 episodes old. We toss around the conversational pigskin and yenta it up about the 300 prequel, Red Dawn remake, the Crow reboot and Adam Sandlers next turdfest. Epileptic Peat gets naughty while reminiscing about Tears of the Sun, Kaptain Carbon smacks a gavel to gain order in this courtroom and George Force sucks on some Nitrous. Enjoy the orgy.

Ben Heck
Fistful of Reviews

Music Courtesy of:
This Place is Haunted

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Email: sweeptheleg(at)Warpath(dot)tv

Out of Commission: 049 – The System has Down Syndrome

Epileptic Peat — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 23:50:00 +0000

Out of Commission – Episode 049
Salutations and palpitations to all of you rubbernecking onlookers. In this sordid, checkered episode of Out of Commission, we discuss the upcoming sequels to REC, The Lost Boys and Easy Rider? Yeah, that’s right Wildcat… just keep your eyes on the road. We bid farewell to Dennis Hopper and subsequently wish death on Michael Bay’s new live-action TMNT adaptation. Epileptic Peat hangs up his Members Only Jacket in protest of the Chupacapra Wolfman movie, Kapatain Carbon talks about the Youtube on the internets and George Force begin_of_the_skype_highlighting end_of_the_skype_highlighting puts a sharpee to cardboard and begins the begging. Clap on, clap off… you have an STD.

Music Courtesy of:
You Bred Raptors?

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Out of Commission: 048 – Just… Plain… Wrong.

Epileptic Peat — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 00:35:04 +0000

Out of Commission – Episode 048
Well well well… look at you. Cowering in fear because you know what’s coming. Come here and take your medicine, child! You asked for it… So here it is, you sadistic waterheads. An entire episode devoted to our screening of the Queen Latifya joint, Just Wright. We pour salt and Alien saliva into fresh wounds after viewing such a Titanic abortion by extrapolating lurid plot details salvaged from the wreckage. Why is the Queen so Shamu-like? Why don’t they just address the fact that Common is a Cybernetic Organism with retractable limbs? Where were the ‘goodies’ in this film? How does Robert Paulson keep popping up on screen for us? We will answer all these questions after they release us from Suicide watch. I hope you learned your lesson.

Music Courtesy of:
You Bred Raptors?

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Email: sweeptheleg(at)Warpath(dot)tv

Out of Commission: 047 – Happy Birthday Mr. Trejo

Epileptic Peat — Thu, 20 May 2010 20:03:31 +0000

Out of Commission – Episode 047
Hola!! Pinatas and Doritos for all! In this Danny Trejo tribute episode, we discuss the nuances of this great man and how disappointed we will be in his future endevours. But that is neither here nor there… we tackle the new documentary/thrillomedy Cropsey, the newest fat pile of FAIL from the Wachowski-Brother/Sister-Boys-Don’t-Cry-Team and the RZA directing a historically accurate African American Kung Fu epic. We gear up for our… shudder… momentous viewing of Just Wright this weekend. Epileptic Peat deals with some pyscho broads, Kaptain Carbon has too much time on his Architect hands and constructs a game of jovial proportions and George Force begin_of_the_skype_highlighting end_of_the_skype_highlighting finds a new hangover cure that involves his testicles. There… are you ready to come?

Music:
This Place is Haunted: Streets of Rage 2 – Slow Moon
This Place is Haunted: Cannibal Holocaust

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Out of Commission: 046 – Big Chief Brown Bottom

Epileptic Peat — Fri, 14 May 2010 02:06:07 +0000

Out of Commission – Episode 046
HOW! Me Out of Commission. You dedicated listener. In this tribal, native episode (psst Click that and listen!) we discuss our thoughts after seeing Iron Man 2. We also touch ourselves with nostalgia over Splice and Centurion. We pay homage to our Native ancestors in the most tasteless way possible. Ridiculous sequels such as Men something.

Out of Commission: 045 – Fire it up! Fire it up!

Epileptic Peat — Thu, 06 May 2010 23:21:18 +0000

Out of Commission – Episode 045
Well, lookey there. Eff me, he cleared it. In this hardboiled episode, we discuss the current vapid state of Comic book movies and what they mean to us, the consuuuuuumer. Jonah Hex gets hacked, Iron Man 2 gets tire ironed, The Walking Dead gets trampled on and Batman 3 news stirs up a hornets nest of something.

Out of Commission: 044 – I AM NIC CAGE!

Epileptic Peat — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 04:30:42 +0000

Out of Commission – Episode 044
Hey! Get back here… Sorry we are late lovin’s. But here we are as promised… not punctual, stinking of booze, shame and feeling futureless. In this supercharged episode we suspend ourselves from the ceiling long enough to cast judgment on all things alphabetical. Starting with A, we lambast the new A-Team trailer and the possibility of something.

Out of Commission: 043 – Don’t Get Dead.

Epileptic Peat — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 19:11:39 +0000

Out of Commission – Episode 043
Pop quiz hotshot… You have 2 meatball sandwiches and only enough TUMS to kill the diarrhea for one of them… What do you do? In this secret filled episode we throw away our social lives and commit ourselves to you, the listener. To be more specific, the new atrocities on film called Unthinkable, Dinner for something.

Out of Commission: 042 – The Suitcase…

Epileptic Peat — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 00:05:35 +0000

Out of Commission – Episode 042
Coming back like a nightmare you space gone mothermothers. In this delightful and wartorn episode, we discuss the finer things in life. For instance, XXX 3, Blue Crush 2 – Electric Boogaloo, Step Up 3D – Jason takes Manhattan, The Human Centipede, Resident Evil 4 and the new Big Lebowski Porn Parody. We also stump something or another.